“I don’t have problems – I have puzzles”
This fantastic quote from Quincy Jones got me thinking about the power of positive reframing and how this simple switch can be the key to finding a solution.
Problem – Dictionary Definition
A matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.
Puzzle – Dictionary Definition
A game, toy, or problem designed to test ingenuity or knowledge.
Seeing something as a puzzle immediately connects us to positive language and to using ingenuity and knowledge to find the solution.
But, when we frame a behaviour as a problem, we imply that it is unwelcome or harmful and needs to be dealt with and overcome. This takes us to a space of judgement, blame and, usually, punishment. It also views behaviour solely as a conscious choice, when often it isn’t.
All behaviour is information, and when it’s framed as ‘problem behaviour’ we miss the information – the why – and go straight to some kind of force. This is not a positive process and rarely leads to positive outcomes. Ignoring information doesn’t usually end well.
When we frame a behaviour as a puzzle, it takes us to a space of curiosity and desire for understanding. And when you understand what is driving a behaviour, you can use ingenuity to find a solution.
This is the same whether the behaviour is our own or someone else’s.
If you want to understand your money behaviour, then you need to approach it as a puzzle. “I wonder why I do that?” “I wonder why those feelings come up?”
As a money coach, this is how we work. No judgement, no blame, no shaming, no punishment – just curiosity. Because, every money behaviour makes perfect sense when you understand the underlying beliefs, feelings and thoughts that drive that behaviour.
And when you understand what drives your money behaviour, you can change it if you want to.
Why don’t you start by taking the Money-Type Quiz or setting up a free Money Chat.