I don’t need more money – I need to feel safe with the money I have.
When I came across money coaching in 2018, I realised that for the whole of my life I had been dragging around my father’s money anxiety.
It was like a big suitcase full of rocks that had been passed down through the generations. He had dragged it around all his life and now it was my turn.
And that moment of awareness was crucial; without it, I would still be making all my decisions – not just the financial ones – from a space of anxiety and scarcity.
Now that I was aware of the suitcase, I could let go of it.
But letting go isn’t that easy.
I had hardwired behavioural patterns that went back to childhood. There is a physiological element to habits and beliefs. You need to consciously change them and create new pathways in the brain.
And what you find is that you don’t choose your emotions and feelings.
You can’t think your way out of a nervous system response.
You can’t use willpower to change something you didn’t consciously choose.
You can’t switch from scarcity to abundance just because you want to.
So I couldn’t let go of the suitcase.
But I could start taking the rocks out of it.
And over time, the suitcase became lighter.
I am now able to make spending decisions from the viewpoint of bringing joy rather than minimising cost.
And, in time, I hope to leave that suitcase behind forever.
We all have our own suitcases and some are heavier than others.
Some rocks come from our ancestors and sometimes we add our own rocks too.
Maybe you don’t have anxiety, but you feel the need to spend money or give it to others. Maybe you need to control it, or maybe you resent it or don’t want anything to do with it.
Whatever is in your suitcase, don’t judge yourself. You didn’t ask for it. Other people gave it to you.
But you don’t have to accept it, and you certainly don’t want to pass it to the next generation.
So, let’s start by opening it up and taking some rocks out.
If you’d like to explore what’s holding you back, let’s start with a chat.
And, if you’d like to explore how to help your clients, we can teach you that too.
