My father felt strongly that his legacy was about the assets he passed down to us.

The house. The paintings. The cash.

As I explored my money history, I realised that his real legacy was his scarcity mentality and money anxiety.

There was this deep-seated feeling that there wasn’t enough, that resources could disappear at any moment, that safety requires constant vigilance.

A lot of clients have told me that this feeling of scarcity wasn’t articulated in any particular way; they just knew. Money wasn’t talked about, but they knew not to ask for things, especially expensive things. They didn’t want to appear troublesome or be a burden.

My father, in contrast, was very vocal about there not being enough, even when there was. And that anxiety moved down through the generations to us.

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But money is only part of the story.

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My father loved music and made mix tapes from songs that were played on the radio. He would play these tapes at home and on a portable cassette deck in the car.

So, we grew up with music and my brother and I collected vinyl and bought increasingly expensive hi-fi kit. And we made our own mix tapes.

That stopped for a while when kids arrived and we switched to CDs of ‘The wheels on the Bus’ and ‘The Gruffalo’.

But there was always music somewhere, and our kids have crafted their own relationship with it. Two of them play in bands and two of them are DJing.
We also adapted. My brother plays the bass and I can be found spinning tunes in Cambridge.

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Legacy isn’t about numbers. It’s about feelings. It’s about what sits inside you. What you believe about yourself and the world. What brings you pain and what brings you joy.

When it comes to money, I have learned how to reduce my anxiety and open my heart.

With music, it was always about joy. And that love of music – and the joy it brings – has moved down through the generations. That’s legacy too.

My father is no longer with us, but in the words of one of the songs we grew up with, I’d like to say to him:

“Thank you for the music, for giving it to me”

If you want to explore what you inherited, let’s have a chat.

If you want to explore legacy with your clients, please get in contact.