When it comes to your finances, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. And there are good reasons for this:

There is more complexity than ever.

Our economic lives can feel more uncertain than ever

The personal finance system exploits the unwary and the vulnerable.

Most financial decisions are driven by behaviour that we don’t really understand.

And, whatever we try, nothing seems to make much difference.

Add in some guilt, anxiety, and shame, and all of this combines to produce a feeling of helplessness.

In the late 1960s researchers coined a term for this – they called it learned helplessness.

So what do you do?

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Well, it turns out that the concept of learned helplessness is wrong. Helplessness is actually the default response when we’re faced with severe, prolonged stress. In other words, passivity is an automatic defensive reflex.

It doesn’t mean you’re bad with money.

It doesn’t mean you’re not trying hard enough.

It doesn’t mean you’re useless, stupid or lazy.

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It means that unless you were shown how to understand and manage money, it will remain this complex, confusing thing that makes you feel helpless. And your brain will keep you stuck because it evolved to see new behaviours and beliefs as potentially dangerous. That means it’s constantly pulling you into whatever it is that you did in the past, even if that feels bad and accomplishes nothing.

Breaking this cycle is not just about financial literacy.

You also need to understand what drives your money behaviour. Because, if you don’t understand what drives your money behaviour, then you can read all the finance books you want and still feel helpless. Possibly, more so. As one of my clients said:

“I knew what to do. I just didn’t know how I could do it.”

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So be kind to yourself.

It’s not your fault if you’re not good at something that you were never shown how to do. And most money decisions are driven by money beliefs not numbers.

So, if you do want to get better with money, then do what you would do if you wanted to get better at any other aspect of your life.

Find a coach or someone who can support you.

Because, although helplessness is the default state for all of us, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

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Most people start by taking the Money Type Quiz.

Or book a call